CHILD MOLESTATION

Child Molestation is also known as child sexual abuse. It is a secret crime involving a range of indecent sexual activities between an adult and a child. Child sexual abuse in Nigeria is an offence under several sections of chapter 21 of the country’s criminal code. The age of consent is 18. UNICEF reported in 2015 that one in four girls and one in ten boys in Nigeria had experienced sexual violence before the age of 18. According to a survey by Positive Action for Treatment Access, over 31.4 percent of girls there said that their first sexual encounter had been rape or forced sex of some kind.

Types of Molestation:

-Defilement

-Rape

-Fingering

-Making a child watch pornography

-Exposing the genital to kids

-Indecent touching

-Fondling etc

Who Could Abuse Your Child?

Studies show that over *95%* of sexually abused children are abused by persons known or close to the child or the child’s family.

Abusers Are Mostly Not Strangers.

They are right there in your house, co-tenants, family members, lesson teachers, neighbours. Their friends in school, hostel, classmates,class/school teachers, cousins, uncles, nephew, niece, fathers, step fathers, grand fathers, imams, choir masters, pastors, confidants, security guard, maids, family /school drivers, After school teachers , teachers, mummy’s friend, daddy’s friend, caregivers, strangers…….. the list can go on.

Causes of Child Sexual Abuse

Parental negligence, carelessness, non- challant attitude.

Other Causes:

Absentee parents.

Parents who do not observe.

When the kids are not informed…..

What you watch with your kids.

Indecent dressing by our children.

Where Can Your Child Be Sexually Abused?

✓On your bed

✓Right under your nose, under your roof

✓In the school environment- class, toilet etc

✓Hostel

✓Parties

✓In their room (siblings)

✓Deserted/Abandoned places

✓ When you are distracted etc.

Perpetrators look for opportunities.

 *5 mins is enough to cause a life long damage.*

How Do Paedophiles Get The Victims?

1.Grooming

2.Baits

a. Emotional bait

b. Gift bait

c. Financial bait

d. Familiarity & Respect bait.

3. Child grooming

Befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child, and sometimes the family, to lower the child’s inhibitions with the objective of sexual abuse. -Wikipedia-

Gaining the trust of a minor with the intention of having sex relationship with them.

How To Identify A Possible Abuser:

A. Always trying to be around your child or vice versa

B. Child feels uncomfortable when he/she sights the abuser or when the abuser is around.

C. Easily and conveniently accept to care for your child while you are away.

D. Can be hard on the child especially if the child is rejecting his *moves.*

If any of the above is observed, please, shine your eyes. Or sometimes, your child might feel uncomfortable/rejecting to go to the person when you send him or her or even go for holiday.

Sexual abuse happens among siblings, set rules, separate their rooms, separate their beds.

What A Perpetrator Says To A Child Willing To Speak Out:

•I will kill you

•You will die

•Your mummy will hate you

•Your mummy will beat you

•Your mummy will blame you.

•Your mummy and your daddy will die.

•He could cut the child, lick the blood and say: *this is a blood convenant between us, the day you tell is the day you die.*

Teach Your Child The SRR Action.

S – Shout/scream

R – Run

R – Report

Possible Signs That Your Child Has Been Abused:

✓Isolation

✓Aggressiveness

✓Anxiety/Fear

✓Difficulty in walking

✓Sudden drop in academic performance

✓Poor social interaction

and so on.

Others:

✓Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

Their dressing is important, dress to cover them please. Teach them privacy. They must knock and seek permission before they enter your room.

It is wrong to bath them together irrespective of sex.

PLEASE NOTE!

Children never lie about abuse* If your child tells you someone is trying to mess with him or her…. Please believe the child and respond appropriately.

Effect of Child Sexual Abuse

-The abused child could become a serial abuser

-Depression

-Suicidal thoughts

-Stigma

-Guilt

-Lifelong psychological trauma

-Aggression

-Withdrawn

-Infected with STDs

The Boys:

More often than not,we pay more attention to the girls than the boys.

With my years of experience, boys are mostly victims- anal sex but because we *do not pay attention.*

For them, healing is a terrible process.

Watch Over Your Boys:

Something might just be happening and you perceive  not. Do not be a *hard* mum. Strike a balance between love and discipline.

Give your children Sex Education proportional to their age. A child of age 2 or even less is due for Sex Education.

Tell them what nobody must do with their body.

Tell them to speak out.

In the house, everyone must respect one another’s privacy.Child molestation is real, let us all be vigilant .